Through the eyes of a 70-year-old Jew, deeply concerned about the future.
I began writing this article on October 14th. It would be unacceptable to write today of all days, without mentioning yesterday’s release of the 20 living Hamas hostages. Needless to say, all Jews and most right-minded non-Jews are elated for the hostages and their families. We hope the families of those murdered in captivity will soon see at least a degree of closure. Given the nature of their deaths, it’s hard to imagine these devastated families will ever find peace.
Ibrahim Kendi wrote a book, ‘How to be an Antiracist’. In it, he claims that if you’re not actively an antiracist, then you are a racist. It’s an assertion I completely disagree with, but it does lead me to some of the conclusions I’ve reached in this piece.
Racism is at an all-time high, and while antisemitism is very much in the news, as it rightly should be, Jews are not the only victims. Muslims are experiencing hate-inspired attacks, while the Sikh community in the UK is organizing escort volunteers to accompany vulnerable gurdwara attendants (the Sikh house of worship) back to their homes.
Casual racism
There is a kind of racism that occurs across virtually all socioeconomic levels of society. It’s the type that is rarely called out by friends or relatives because “that’s just Joe being Joe. He’s always saying shit like that. He doesn’t mean anything by it”. We see this kind of behavior as being harmless. Besides, making a scene in front of our peers is a big ask, right? We wrongly believe that because the target of our racial remarks isn’t in the room, no harm has been done.
A while back, we happened to be at a friend’s house while Sky News had a segment about a black gentleman in the United States who got into a verbal argument with the police after being pulled over multiple times in the same month by white officers. He drives an expensive car and lives in an affluent neighborhood. It is generally agreed that black people are pulled over disproportionately more often than white people, especially if they’re driving an expensive car. My friend remarked that “all this black person needed to do was comply with the police, what’s the big deal?”. In that moment, I came so freaking close to saying to him, “Great, another white guy who thinks he knows what it’s like to be black”, but I chickened out, I said nothing, and it still bugs me to this day.
There are two parts to this example: There’s the overt racism of pulling over black drivers without probable cause. But there is also the casual racism of not understanding how this gentleman has been made to feel and will continue to feel, quite possibly his entire lifetime.
I am quite certain that those who have been guilty of casual racism would strongly protest at the slightest suggestion that their off-the-cuff comments rise to the level of racism. Here’s the thing. If you make racial comments that are “way-too-small-to-ever-be-considered-racist”, and you do it often enough, congratulations, you’re a racist.
The racism of ignorance
When we presume to know what a particular ethnic person or group thinks or believes, having no personal exposure to their culture whatsoever, and then judge them based on those erroneous assertions, we are guilty of the racism of ignorance. A perfect example would be “All Jews support everything Israel does”. A few minutes of internet research would prove this to be false, and yet millions of people believe it to be true.
I have been on the receiving end of this kind of racism, and I think I may be about to lose a friend I’ve had since childhood as a result.
Recently, after the synagogue attack in Manchester (October 2nd, 2025), A friend reached out to offer his support. I shared with him my ‘… dissolving moderate’ piece. In his WhatsApp response, he managed to insult me not once but three times. First, he suggested that I dwell too much on “the distant past”. I couldn’t bring myself to seek clarification. What did he mean by “distant past”? Did he mean my childhood, the October 7th attack? Surely not the holocaust? He then went on to compare my distress over antisemitism as being akin to Irish people who still complain about Oliver Cromwell. All this was topped off by suggesting that because this attack occurred “far over the horizon,” and not in the county where I live, it shouldn’t be so upsetting. Not to mention how clueless one would have to be not to understand the level of angst Jewish communities are experiencing on a global scale. There are so many flaws in his thinking that it made my head want to explode.
My friend broke the golden rule; you NEVER invalidate or dismiss how someone is feeling, period.
My entire Jewish experience, all 70 years’ worth, had been pushed aside and replaced with how HE felt I should deal with the latest anti-Semitic attack. When we fail to visually “walk a mile in someone else’s shoes” and see the world through their eyes, it not only objectifies the victim but it also diminishes society in general.
There is a significant percentage of the population who frequently make what they consider to be “innocent” remarks, when in fact it’s casual racism. In their minds, we folks who have been on the receiving end are just being oversensitive.
What casual racists fail to comprehend is the cumulative effect. The antisemitism of my childhood isn’t the “distant past”, it’s part of an unbroken chain reaching far back to before I or even my parents were born, and will continue through my lifetime and way beyond. The same is true for Muslims, people of color, and all manner of other ethnic groups too numerous to mention.
I wish I could say that I am optimistic for the future, but I’m not. My Rabbi, I am certain, will point to all the condolence emails and phone calls my shul in Norwich received after the Manchester attack. No question, there are some truly good people out there. I can only speak to my experience as a Jew, although I suspect other minorities have similar experiences.
Bill Gates once suggested that the information age would lead to peace because ignorance would be a thing of the past. Painfully naïve. We live in an age where disinformation has been weaponized to great effect. One can only hope that humanity will, one day, have an age of enlightenment, but it won’t be in my lifetime.
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